'Students don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.' - Anonymous
I've found this to be very true when helping men with NoFap, and people with English and public-speaking. Every day I have to refocus: "I've got to care about these people", and perhaps self-aggrandisingly: "protect them from the perils of not receiving my service."
I must keep in mind that what I do is not just for money- it's part of how I'm fulfilling my purpose of making the world better in small ways, and my client's worlds better in big ways.
It's eye-opening how even poor English skills cause deep personal struggle in many people. Many non-native English speakers feel embarrassment when they don't know what to say in a business meeting due to lack of vocabulary, or when they make a mistake due to their poor understanding of English grammar. And over time, this can contribute to lowered confidence. But I can protect them from this by teaching them well, and this attitude sits well with my masculine disposition. I strongly resonate with the traditional masculine values of protection and service, for the greater good of all people, everywhere. When I think about the possible good I could be doing- especially through NoFap coaching- it's an infinite source of motivation.
When I go through the motions of a busy workday, I can sometimes end up only semi-caring about the life story of my clients. But I must remember that each person is truly precious. Some people, who I would consider immature, would feel queasy about that statement, perhaps because they'd think it's insincere, but this feeling dissolves in accordance to one's acquisition of the perspective with which God sees them.
I believe that 9/11 heroes such as like Welles Crowther and Rick Rescorla acted from masculine love: the force which is behind service and protection. It smashes through self-preservation, which includes the fear of judgement. Masculine love is not soft and fluffy like feminine love- masculine love gives us the courage to lead people out of danger and into safety. Just like those two men above did.
Each person I meet has a family, and is worth more than $100,000,000 to somebody. Some people love us so much that we are worth more to them than their own lives. Whoever believes there is nobody like this around them should learn more about the death of Jesus. I believe a large part of God's plan for men is that we reach a point where we see each person as our family member, such that we protect and serve them from that perspective. Whenever I have felt and shown genuine care towards a person's development, I have always been rewarded by the universe / God.
Soon a blogpost will be released about masculine service, how it links to spirituality, and its essential role in the life of men. (https://www.inspirationparadise.org/post/the-power-of-genuine-care-making-a-difference-through-service)
David
Great. I think of the work I've done as a tutor and coach as accelerating someone's learning curve. It's difficult to say that they'd be lost or anything like that without my services. There are a lot of other helpful people doing similar things, and they could probably figure a good amount out on their own.
However (and this admittedly can vary a lot depending on the person), there is a genuine back and forth that can develop that's unique between you and your client, and you have an opportunity to show them what you know that's beneficial for their situation.
Even with a naturally laid back personality, I've found I can still be effective in this by embracing the power of listening and creating space by not doing much. Especially with kids, this can be helpful- as they are often constantly being told what to do by their parents and other authority figures. I can provide a breath of fresh air while also doing something that's of value.
Sometimes, my approach does not work that well for a particular person, and the client ends up not enjoying working with me that much or decides to end the relationship for some personal reason. On the other hand, though, there are many times where someone really does connect well with how I tend to approach things.
Ultimately, it is a form of service, and it's interesting how it can be framed as altruistic, but you as the provider also get something out of it. Both financially and a sense of excitement or satisfaction in experiencing and seeing how things progress.